Funny Wedding Quotes
"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."
"Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals
through his wallet."
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her
at all.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him
Marriage isn’t a word—it’s a sentence.
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, 'Aren't you wearing your
wedding ring on the wrong finger?' The other replied, 'Yes, I am, I married the
wrong man.'
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, 'You know, I was a fool when I
married you.' The husband replied, 'Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't
notice.'
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted' . Next day he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep
her.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking
they had no faults at all.
My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two
girlfriends.
A husband said to his wife, 'No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like
your mother-in-law better than I like mine.'
How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry
done free.
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because
the thief was spending less than his wife did.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more
willing to die.
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people
remembering the same thing.
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and
after marriage.
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