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Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.
To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a
sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.'
For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.
He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal.
So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'
The next day someone stole it!
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I stopped at Mc Donalds and ordered some fries.
The girl behind the counter said would you like some fries with that?
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*One day I was walking down the beach with
some friends when someone shouted.....
'Look at that dead bird!'
Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?'
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My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car
which is designed to cut through a seat belt
if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk.
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I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost
luggage office and reported the loss.
The woman there smiled and told me not to worry
because she was a trained professional and
said I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me,
'Has your plane arrived yet?'...
(I work with professionals like this.)
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While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man
ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if
he would like it cut
into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time
then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry
enough to eat 6 pieces.
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Dumb as a box of Rocks
A VERY GOOD EXAMPLE OF THE KIND OF REPRESENTATION WE HAVE IN CONGRESS, TRUE
STORY:
A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy
Pelosi happened to appear. Ms Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good
doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.
'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental
deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?'
'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should
answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track..'
'What sort of question?' asked Pelosi.
Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died
during one of them. Which one?''
Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't
happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about
history.'
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A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his
picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was
not speeding... Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same
spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now he began to
think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area
again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the
same result. He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera
flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace... Two weeks later, he
got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt..
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