Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a
coat hanger.
First Blonde:
"I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Second Blonde:
Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!
A blonde asked someone what time it
was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face
replied,
"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day,
and each time I get a different answer."
A blonde and a redhead went to the
bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man
was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the
redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.
Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,
"I can't take this, you're my friend."
But the blonde insisted saying,
"No. A bet's a bet."
Then the redhead said
"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't
take your money."
The blonde replied
"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"
There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a
Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to
play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and
said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him
$5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer
figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest
star?"
Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What
goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"
Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he
could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying
to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the
blonde $50.00
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted,
"What is the answer to your question?"
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
A pretty blonde, wanting to earn some extra money,
decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby
well-to-do
neighbourhood.
She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any
odd jobs for her to do.
"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How much will
you charge me?"
The blonde quickly responded, "How about £50?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need were in
the garage.
The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize
that our porch goes all the way around the house?"
He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"
The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those 'dumb
blonde' jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" the husband asked.
"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the £50.00 and handed it to her.
"And by the way," the blonde added,
"it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."
A blonde explains football:
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football
game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked the
experience.
'Oh, I really liked it,' she replied, 'especially the
tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they
were killing each other over 25 cents.'
Dumbfounded, her date asked, 'What do you mean?'
'Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then
for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get
the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents......!!!!!
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